A New Year and a few other new things…

by Sarah on January 2, 2009

in General,Life and Family

I‘m back :)   Not that I ever mentioned I was going anywhere but I was rather in need of a break.  So I took one.  That’s the beauty of this job, that you can tweak your timetable to suit your life, although manners should possibly have dictated that I might have mentioned it first…

If I could take a moment away from the topic of stamping (to add to the many other moments I have taken up until now!) I want to expand a little bit on the process of simplifying that I mentioned in my previous post.  I made a brief reference to needing to simplify on a number of levels and this was based on feeling that I was dropping my bundle a little…or a lot.  I was overcome pretty much constantly by feelings of being overwhelmed that I found difficult to shake and that, up until that point in time I figured were just “the way I operated”.

Following the overwhelmed-ness would be the “snap out of it!” self talk where I would mentally beat myself up for not being able to cope with my lot – a lot that is no more, and in fact probably much less than, the lot of many others.  I just seemed to have lost my coping mechanisms somewhere along the line.  The tiniest things would turn my world upside down and my way of dealing with it would be to take it out on the people I loved the most :(   And the most tiring part was keeping it all together on the outside when I didn’t feel at all “together” on the inside.

Everything sort of dropped into place when I went to see about figuring out what the hell was wrong with my immune system as I spent the entire year catching pretty much whatever was going around – from laryngitis to pneumonia and more than my fair share of doses of the common cold.  Considering that I can mostly get through a year with barely a sniffle, it was a bit out of the ordinary to say the least.  But what started out as what I thought would be an investigation into my physical self ended up with treatment for an anxiety disorder that I never knew was there.  Again, I figured the thoughts and feelings that were so much part of my every day were “just me”.  The relief of knowing that it didn’t have to be like that was immediate, and following was a series of sessions that, although hard going at times, have helped ENORMOUSLY in the process of changing how I think and respond to situations.

Phew.  If you made it this far, then thanks for listening.  Originally I didn’t plan on sharing this whole process here since the very vast majority of you would visit for stamping inspiration rather than amateur psychology.  But then I thought that perhaps there are others of you like me.  Getting through each day by the seat of your pants and then wondering why you’re so TIRED all the time.  So I wanted to share.  And encourage :)   And say that if what you have read here sounds like you then maybe you might want to talk to somebody about it.

I also wanted to share some of my favourite resources that I have found recently in case anybody else can find some value in them:

Simple Mom – my new ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE blog.  I couldn’t even tell you what it’s about as there is SO much on there and I haven’t even got thr0ugh all the content, but what I have read, I have related to is SO many ways.  Go read it.  It’s GOOD!

Small Notebook – A lovely blog about living simply.  I couldn’t even tell you how I found it but I stumbled across it recently, as these things tend to happen when you most need them to, and now I check in all the time

Change your Thinking (Sarah Edelman PhD)- this one’s a book rather than a blog or website but it delves into the topic of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and is a great resource (thanks for the lend Aunty Mair :) )

I have still been creating during this whole break, so I have a few things to share.  I had a bit of crunching and grinding to do in the background of my blog though, but that is pretty much sorted now (you may have noticed some strange goings on in the past day or so if you popped in!) so I am looking forward to getting some stampin’ inspiration to you soon.

Thanks for listening!

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  • http://www.jazzystamper.blogspot.com Jasmine

    Hi Sarah

    I think your such an amazing person and wish you all the best for 2009. To me it feels like the start of an awesome year and I know that all the work you have done on yourself will pay off in the long run. You have many many people who are there for you always. You are an inspiration!!!

    Love always Jaz xox

  • Jane M

    Well done Saus….love you xxx

  • http://danneillinardi.blogspot.com/ Danneil

    Hey Sarah J,
    I agree with your Mum…..well done beautiful girl!!! As always, there is lots of love and light sent from me to you.
    Dan. xx

  • http://angelacorbett.wordpress.com Angela Corbett

    Hi Sarah

    I am a demo in NZ and I was looking through some blogs and came across yours. Thank you for sharing what you did. I know that it will mean a lot to anyone who is going through what you are. I can completely relate to what you have said in this post. I suffered from post natal depression with my last baby and became very ill with it. I had terrible anxiety attacks and went through a cognitive behavioural therepy program which really helped me. It certainly straightened out some of my thought processors and helped me change some of my negative self talk. I can also relate very much to the feeling of being overwhelmed. I couldn’t even get out of bed for a few months because just having a shower was to much for me. Going throught this your self esteem takes a hammering. I also relate to you saying that you have less to cope with than other people and cant understand why you arent. I felt like that all the time. All I can say is it does get better, everyone told me it would but I didnt really believe them. It has taken a while but with the right medical help and the support of my family I have recovered and life is great again. The best part is feeling like I can cope, especially with my children, and that I have strength again to deal with what life throws at me. Hang in there and things do get better. It just takes time. If you ever need someone to talk to who has been there please email me. I know it helps to talk to someone who can relate. take care and all the best for the new year

    Angela

  • Sarah

    @Angela – wow what a heartfelt message, thank you SO much for taking the time to post it. If I learned anything through this whole process it was that I am not alone in experiencing such feelings.

    @Jaz & Dan – thanks guys, your support means loads to me :)

    @ Mum – right back at you x

  • http://www.sarah-janekale@blogspot.com Sarah-Jane Kale’

    Hi Sarah!!!
    It’s WONDERFUL to have you back.
    I truly hope you have the most WONDERFUL year and it is filled with many, many happy times, memories and creative moments.
    Although I’ve only met you a few times, I find you also an amazing person and you have inspired me AGAIN. Thankyou!!!

    xx Sarah
    xx

  • Mary

    Well done you, what a brilliant bit of sharing!!! Women beat themselves up for reasons that are just not logical and even though they know they’re not logical they do it anyway. Young women with houses to run, jobs to work at, husbands and children to care for tend to have very little physical and emotional energy left for themselves and I think you’re amazing for having the courage to explore the ‘reasons why’ and seek advice on the blah you felt your life had become. You’re going to have people from all over reading your blog having an ‘AHAH’ moment and feeling such relief that it isn’t just them and appreciation that you had the courage to come out and share what you’ve been feeling. So….if you find yourself becoming overwhelmed again take the time to acknowledge that the person you need to care for first is you. You know the line in that song ‘I can’t be right for somebody else if I’m not right for me’….well it’s true. I think it was Sammy Davis Jr – please tell me you’ve heard of him :)

    I’ll just step carefully off my soapbox now. Love you heaps dear girl, you have loads of us cheering you on.

  • Lyn

    Sarah,
    I love your blog and I’m so happy you’re back.
    You are so brave sharing this very personal experience on your blog. I’m sure this will help many women out there in blogland who feel the same, but don’t realise there may be a real problem.
    Best wishes for 2009.
    Lyn.

  • http://www.nzsublog.blogspot.com Trudi Hopkinson

    Hi Sarah, Thank you so much for sharing with us! I’m a solo mum with two girls and work as a nurse at our local hospital. A few times last year, especially towards the end of the year I just felt ‘surely this is too much for one person??’ Thanks for the links to the other blogs I’ll be checking them out and simplifying things.
    Many blessings for you and your family for ’09

  • Adele Smith

    Wow, Sarah! Thankyou so very much for sharing, as Mary said…bit of an ‘AhHa’ moment or two happening here so off to blog surf a bit!! Very glad to hear that you are feeling better within yourself and I pray that only continues to strengthen and grow xoxo

    Wishing you all the wonderful blessings 2009 has in store for you and your family, again thankyou for having the courage to share your experiences and thankyou for being an inspiration, as always xoxo

    Take care
    Adele
    xoxo

  • Jenny H

    Hi Sarah
    Thanks for your honesty. Sometimes we feel we have to be a superwoman juggling everything and keeping calm in the process. I know I struggle with it all the time! We can only cope with what we can do ourselves and not worry about what other people around us are doing. Everyone has their own story. I know the demands of a family, home and being an SU demo. can be overwhelming. Take each day as it comes and what you can do with it. You are important to look after.
    I love your creativity and look out for your blog regularly. But, as with everything else, you post when you feel up to it.
    God Bless in 2009.
    Love Jenny.

  • http://www.luvtostamp.blogspot.com Karen Thomas

    Hi Sair – BIGGGGGGGG hugs to you!!! I’m so glad your back! Be kind to YOU!!!

    Love K
    xo

  • Tamara

    Sara
    Thank you so much for sharing. I know the feeling and need to do something about it , now I will.

  • sandii

    Hey Sarah,

    I admire you so much for sharing this with us. I too, suffer from anxiety and was diagnosed with PND after having Luke. I am going to buy the book you recommended as I think I need some re-wiring in my thought process – lol. I will also check out the blogs.

    Anyway, I just want to tell you that I have always admired you :-) Also, as I was reading your post, it suddenly came to me that one of the things that I have stopped doing is stamping and creating – I think I just dropped the baton when my world took a different turn when Luke was born and I find it difficult to even pick up a stamp. That is something that I want to fix as I love it soooo much.

    Thank you Sarah for being such a brave and true soul :-)

    Sandii
    x

  • http://www.lemon-delicious.blogspot.com Sharon Dines

    Hi Sarah.
    I am a regular visitor to your blog – I get a lot of creative inspiration from you – although I am a bit of a lurker and don’t say very much – which you will probably think is unusual once you get to the end of this post, but there you go! :)

    Like Angela C, I am a demo in New Zealand and also like her, I had post-natal depression while I was pregnant with, and following the birth of, both my children. On my worst days, it was hard to get out of bed, the thought of doing the usual daily tasks like washing clothes and making tea felt like having to climb a mountain. I would usually end the day a screaming, crying mess, hurting the people closest to me and then mentally beating myself up half the night for being such a terrible person. The relief was immense when I found out that life wasn’t meant to be that hard!

    I too went down the CBT path, I was prescribed medication and I found a fantastic support group.

    At times it has been really, really hard – I re-examined values and my priorities, I found some things I didn’t like about myself very much and I have changed some of them, while others are still a work in progress. I also quit my job, simplified my life (I now concentrate on what I know is really important to me) and I started stamping – and found an online ‘support group’ of another sort (and they rock!! :)

    Sarah – life at this end of that tunnel (where the light is!) is much, much better!

    Good luck with it, hang in there and keep it simple if/when you have a bad day (and you probably will but don’t get scared you’re not going back in the tunnel, even though it feels that way) and remember there are others of us out there from whom you can draw strength when times get tough, as we draw strength from you, and your courage to share your story.

    Take care
    Sharon

  • alison

    sarah,
    you are amazing, all this going on and you still looked like you stepped out of the salon…beautiful outside, beautiful inside it just needs you to know that!
    x alison

  • http://o2bstampin@blogspot.com Michelle Habib

    Hi Sarah – I’ve just managed to read through your blog postings that I missed so far, and am amazed and impressed. Your post from today (2nd Jan) really hit home for me, as I felt this way earlier last year, and thought I was really “losing it”. Fortunately, I was able to simplify my life a little, and be a little kinder to me, and got through it, but wouldn’t like to go back there again. I guess we all feel we are strong women who don’t need “that” kind of help. How wrong we are! We ARE strong women, but we all need help from many different areas. Your links & books are so great, and I’ve posted on my blog so others may also be helped from this information. Thanks again, for your open-ness. All the best for 2009 – it’s going to be a fabulous year.

  • Ali Smith

    Wow Sair,
    Good for you. I hope you’re feeling loads better. It makes me feel far more normal for disappering from the face of the earth to regroup over the last month! Maybe we could chat about this some time,(given that I have a feeling of being overwhelmed on a regular basis and can never understand why).
    Lots of love for your journey forward.
    Ali xxx

  • http://www.vanessawebb.net Vanessa Webb

    Sarah……thankyou so much for sharing so deeply and honestly. You are such an inspiration because you continue to love what you do and also have the courage to put it into perspective. It shows a heathy and balanced attitude to take time out and examine your life and priorities and , most importantly, look out for you and those you love.
    I love this job because I constantly meet people like you who help me continue to grow……… thankyou for that.